The Window of Tolerance: Why You Can’t “Think Your Way” Out of Burnout

Many of the people I work with come to therapy feeling confused about themselves.

They are capable, intelligent and used to handling pressure — yet suddenly simple tasks feel overwhelming, emails are avoided, concentration disappears and small problems feel enormous.

They often tell me:

“I know what I should be doing. I just can’t make myself do it.”

The Window of Tolerance can be a really helpful way of framing this issue.

Understanding this often brings immediate relief, because it explains something very important:

Burnout is not a motivation problem.

It is a nervous system regulation problem.

What is the Window of Tolerance?

Your window of tolerance is the zone in which your nervous system feels safe enough to function effectively.

When you are inside this window, your brain’s thinking centre (the prefrontal cortex) stays online. This allows you to:

·       focus and prioritise

·       make decisions

·       communicate clearly

·       manage emotions

·       cope with normal work stress

You can still feel pressure, frustration or deadlines — but you can handle them.

In other words: life feels manageable.

What Happens When You Leave the Window?

Under prolonged stress (and particularly professional pressure, responsibility, or emotional labour), your nervous system shifts into survival mode. It goes into a flight, fight, flop, fawn or freeze state.

You move outside your window of tolerance in one of two directions.

Hyper-arousal: The Overwhelm State

This is the state most people associate with stress.

Your brain detects threat — not physical danger, but psychological pressure: deadlines, expectations, conflict, responsibility, or constant availability.

Your body responds as if it must fight or run.

You might notice:

·       racing thoughts at night

·       difficulty switching off after work

·       irritability or snapping at loved ones

·       overworking but achieving less

·       anxiety that sits in your chest or stomach

·       feeling constantly “on edge”

·       being unable to relax even during time off

Many high-performing professionals live here for years.

From the outside they appear productive.

Inside, their nervous system is exhausted.

Hypo-arousal: The Shutdown State

Eventually the brain cannot maintain that level of activation. It switches to a different survival response: conservation.

This is the part that confuses people most — because it looks like procrastination or laziness.

It isn’t.

It is your nervous system applying the brakes.

You may experience:

·       brain fog

·       loss of motivation

·       difficulty starting tasks

·       avoiding complicated files or decisions

·       scrolling or distraction

·       flat mood

·       fatigue even after sleep

People often feel ashamed at this stage, especially if they are used to being competent and reliable.

But shutdown is not a failure of willpower.

It is neurological protection.

Your brain is trying to reduce load because it believes you have exceeded safe capacity.

Why Burnout Feels So Frustrating

Burnout sits between these two states.

You move between:

·       anxious overdrive (“I must catch up”)

·       and paralysed avoidance (“I can’t face it”)

This is why traditional advice often doesn’t work:

·       productivity systems

·       stricter discipline

·       time management apps

·       telling yourself to “just focus”

Those approaches assume the thinking brain is fully available.

When you are outside your window of tolerance, it isn’t. Blood is literally flowing away from your pre-frontal cortex, which is where you do your planning, analysing, prioritising and thinking, and to the parts of your brain that deal with survival.

You are trying to solve a nervous system problem with cognitive effort.

Why You “Know What To Do” But Can’t Do It

People I work with often say:

“I’m not depressed. I still care. I just can’t seem to make myself do it.”

That is actually a key clue.

The part of your brain that plans and initiates action only works when the nervous system feels safe. When the brain detects overload, survival circuits take over and reduce access to:

·       working memory

·       concentration

·       prioritisation

·       decision-making

So you:

·       reread the same email five times

·       put off complex tasks

·       make small mistakes you normally wouldn’t

·       struggle to start work despite pressure

This is not avoidance in the psychological sense.

It is physiology.

How Therapy Helps

Therapy — and particularly hypnotherapy and nervous system–informed approaches — does not simply give coping strategies.

It helps widen your window of tolerance.

This means:

·       you stay regulated under pressure for longer

·       stress no longer accumulates as quickly

·       recovery after difficult days becomes faster

·       focus and motivation naturally return

We are not forcing performance.

We are restoring capacity.

As the nervous system stabilises, many people notice:

·       clearer thinking

·       improved concentration

·       reduced anxiety

·       less procrastination

·       more emotional resilience

·       Importantly, productivity often improves without pushing harder.

A Different Way to Understand Yourself

If you have been criticising yourself for struggling, it may help to reframe:

·       You are not broken.

·       You are not lazy.

·       You are not losing your ability.

·       You are operating outside your nervous system’s safe range.

And once that is understood, the path forward becomes much clearer — because the solution is not more pressure.

It is regulation.

If this sounds familiar, therapy can help you understand your own stress patterns and gently bring your nervous system back into balance.

Let’s talk. I can also come into your firm and provide in depth, in person training on the above to your team. Let me know what is best for you.