Therapy for Stress: Why Spontaneity Might Be the Missing Piece

Last week, I sat back at my desk after a rare kind of holiday — the kind where you genuinely switch off.

You know the ones.
Running on the beach with the children. Laughing like a hyena. Eating too many chips. Letting go of routines. Finding moments for yourself. Feeling, quite simply, that life is good.

They are rare.

This one wasn’t even meant to be special — a last-minute Airbnb in an unfamiliar part of West Wales, arriving mid-storm, power cuts across the region, and an argument with my partner on the way. Not exactly the recipe for relaxation.

And yet… it worked.

I came back feeling calm, refreshed, and rested in a way I hadn’t experienced in years.

What Actually Reduces Stress? A Different Approach

I found myself asking: what made this holiday so different?

The answer wasn’t the location.
It wasn’t the weather (although it helped!).
It wasn’t even the time away.

It was this:

I stopped caring about time, expectations, and “what comes next.”

• No rigid schedules

• No pressure to optimise every hour

• No overthinking meals, naps, or plans

• No constant mental load

Instead, I followed instinct.

If I felt like running — I ran.
If I wanted to sit and stare at the horizon — I sat.
We watched bad films.
Went to bed early.
Drank the wine.
Ate the chocolate.

We embraced how we felt, as we felt it — without filtering, planning, or performing.

From a therapy perspective, this is powerful. Because chronic stress isn’t just about workload — it’s about constant cognitive control.

Stress, Burnout, and the Need for Control

When you’re experiencing stress or burnout, your brain shifts into a more controlled, problem-solving mode. This is helpful in the short term — especially in high-pressure roles like law or leadership — but over time it becomes exhausting.

You may notice:

• Constant forward-planning

• Difficulty switching off

• Reduced spontaneity

• A sense that everything must be “managed”

• Feeling disconnected from joy or play

This is where therapy for stress often focuses — not just on reducing pressure, but on reintroducing flexibility, play, and emotional responsiveness.

Why Spontaneity Helps Relieve Stress

What changed on that holiday was simple but profound:

I allowed spontaneity back in.

Spontaneity does something that traditional stress-management techniques often miss — it interrupts over-control.

It allows:

• Emotional release

• Nervous system regulation

• Playfulness (which is deeply restorative)

• Presence, rather than constant anticipation

Yes, not everything worked perfectly. Some plans failed. But the trade-off was worth it — because we created space for genuine joy, silliness, and connection.

Bringing This Into Everyday Life

Returning to work meant returning to reality — juggling deadlines, children, meals, washing, and trying to fit in self-care wherever possible.

But something shifted.

This week, I:

• Wore a silly hat in the sauna — because I felt like it

• Did a headstand in National Trust grounds while my children played nearby (apologies to anyone who witnessed it)

Small moments. Slightly ridiculous. Entirely unnecessary.

And yet — they mattered.

Because they interrupted the constant logic-driven, high-functioning mode that so many of us live in.

Therapy for Stress: Moving Beyond “Switching Off”

When we’re stressed, it’s easy to default to the path of least resistance:

• Scrolling

• Netflix

• Avoidance

These bring temporary relief — and there’s nothing wrong with that. But they don’t always address the underlying state of chronic stress.

In therapy, we often explore something deeper:

How do you reconnect with the parts of yourself that feel free, playful, and uncontained?

Because stress relief isn’t just about stopping —
it’s about re-engaging with life in a different way.

A Simple Invitation

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, or stuck in constant “doing mode,” try this:

👉 Do one small, slightly silly thing this week — just because you feel like it.

No optimisation.
No justification.
No productivity outcome.

You might be surprised at what shifts.

Looking for Support with Stress or Burnout?

If this resonates, therapy for stress can help you understand how your mind and body are responding — and support you in finding more sustainable ways of living and working.

Whether you're navigating burnout, chronic stress, or simply feeling disconnected from yourself, change doesn’t have to come from doing more.

Sometimes, it starts with doing things differently.